The Inner Temple

Last night I attended a class at http://www.therobinsnestma.com/ the Robin's Nest. The class was called The Inner Temple of Witchcraft with http://christopherpenczak.com/online/  Christopher Penczak. He led us in a guided meditation. This was my experience.

We were to go to our inner temple, the safe and sacred space within our selves.

There was a large tree on a hill. The biggest tree I have ever seen. The tree of life. I touched it and communed with it. At the base was a tunnel with a staircase made of roots going down under the tree which led to cave which opened up to a field on top of a cliff. I could hear the ocean below pounding against the rocky shore. It was warm & sunny, a perfect summer day. As I walked forward away from the field.  I saw an earthen staircase which led down to the beach. I knew I was in Europe maybe Scotland or Ireland. As I descened to the beach I was in the tropics of Puerto Rico. I could see the Milky Way above me yet it was still sunny. I was on a beautiful sandy beach, barefoot in a white lacy dress. I played on the beach awhile, lying on the sand, dancing in the waves. 

I saw 3 doorways on the beach but no doors. I walked through the first and it was winter. Usually, I'm afraid of the cold but I didn't fear. I was still dressed the same, barefoot on the snowy path which led into a village. An elderly woman came out of the first cottage on the left and brought me inside. The interior was very old fashioned with a large stone fireplace and rough wooden table. She was kind and fussed over me. Petting my head & feeding me soup & tea. This was my place of healing and I felt warm & safe by her fire & in her care. Reluctantly, I left her home & returned to the beach. I find this part of the vision interesting as I have a great fear of winter and cold, yet this was my place of healing.

Next, I entered the middle door, where I encountered the season of Autumn, it was cool & windy, I met a spirit guide that Christopher said was there to help me & protect me. He was a tall elderly man that had the appearance of a bard with long hair & beard wearing a dark cloak. He put one arm around me & help my hand. He led me into a tavern with another stone fireplace & large library of books that reached up into the sky. I asked his name & he said Anka. Otherwise, he didn't say anything else but kept a protective arm around me. Next, Christopher said to do through the door of memory. My guide led me there, I could connect to it through the tavern. 

As I step through it was Spring.It was cool day with sunshine and a hint of beginning warmth. I could see myself & I turned around and looked back at myself. I was young with a dark green dress, barefoot again, with long red hair.  I was holding a curly haired baby on my hip while guiding a little girl with long dark hair & holding a blond little boy's hand. They were my children and I was worried about them. I felt they were in some sort of danger. We were walking toward a small village.

Then it was time to return, I found myself back on the beach and I followed the trail back up the cliff, trough the cave & out from the tree. 

I thank the guide, the Goddess & God and Christopher for this experience. 

Stone Reading

I went to TempleFest in New Hampshire this weekend. I received a Stone Reading from Terry Milton, terry@thestonelady.net, I had never heard of these.

She had a large tray covered in different stones & had me pick any 3 with my eyes open, 2 with my eyes closed, then she picked 2 for me. 

Open: I picked Rhodochrosite, Ocean Jasper, Red Jasper

Closed: Selenite & Tiger's Eye

Her choices: Amethyst mixed w/Sulphur it was a cactus or spirit one & Fairy quartz

Faeyor, my life partner, picked Moqui Marble which is a sand stone. She said he had the gift of a medium & was a very old soul.

For me, she said I was very cyclical and had clear boundaries  I am open to new learning & experiences. I too am an old soul but I chose this time period specifically to fulfill a mission to speak for those that can not speak for themselves. I want to help people but sometimes get caught up in doing for others instead of having them help themselves. She said I am now on the right path as past paths were a learning time for me.This is accurate as I am in the health care field with all that entails. My emotional highs & lows have a tendency to be intense & repetitive. I deal with it.

Forests are very important to me which is true. I feel safest & most at peace in the woods. 

Her choices after she closed her eyes & spun the table were cluster stones. Each had 2 peaks. Faeyor & I are united on the same path. 

Nice to get some verification from the Spirit world by a very gifted reader. Definitely enjoyed it!

Mantra

As within so with out
The Goddess is in me & I am in her

As above so below
The God is in me & I am in him

27x

So it was, So it is, So shall it be 
The Old Gods are coming back
For the greatest good of all 
Harming none
So mote it be

1x

Repeat main verse with chorus after each 27th recitation 4x

Nameste

I wrote this after meditation to aid me in making a closer connection with the Gods.

I think of Brigid, The Morrighan, Cerridwen, Cernunnos, Pan, Herne

I feel I have made a break through. :)

Faeyor Herne Rowanman

Faeyor is my husband, my lover & my best friend. He supports me no matter what. He stands by me when I am at my lowest. He cheers when I am soaring! He looks dashingly delectable in a kilt. I enjoy just being near him. Our silences are never uncomfortable. I love just sleeping next to him. He is the most intelligent person I know but he never belittles me when I don't understand. He can explain things so anyone can understand. He makes the mundane entertaining. I am most fortunate that Faeyor chose me to share his life's journey. He's a generous lover & friend. I love him with all my hear & soul. I am blessed.

Why I left Christianity

My husband & I used to be a ministers for a christian church. Then we got fired. We didn't embezzle funds, we didn't have sex with anyone in the youth group, or anyone else beside each other. My husband committed the unpardonable sin of having depression which he was being treated for. Apparently real christians don't have depression. Well, Jesus didn't tell us that. It must be very comforting to know that when you accept Jesus as your personal saviour that any problems you may have will miraculously melt away. Power in the blood, baby. So we were fired. I could have kept my job. The church, which is a huge wealthy cooperation, would have provided an apartment for my children & I, a vehicle & employment as long as my husband was not a part of the equation. How biblical. I took about 30 seconds to think on it. 

So, I left in 2007. I didn't want to leave. It was not my choice. I lost my job, my home & my vehicle. My family split up in 3 different ways. My daughter was 19 & went to live with a friend. My husband went to live with his parents. My 11 year old son & I ended up in Massachusetts in an empty apartment. I didn't have any furniture, dishes, blankets, towels. We had our clothes & that was it. It was a surreal experience, walking around this 3 bedroom apartment filled with ourselves & 2 suitcases of clothes.  A friend lent us sleeping bags so we slept on the floor. Another friend gathered donations of dishes & some furniture. I found a job & my mother helped me buy a used car. I was grateful. 

As time passed, I realized that it was the hierarchy of the of the  church we belonged to that did this. They didn't even attend our church. They were located over 40 miles away.They said they loved us & prayed about this. How strange. I can't think of anything more cruel to do to a family except to kill them. But they prayed about it so I guess that makes it alright.
The people in our church were sad to see us go. They cared & cried for us.

I tried to continue in christianity for a while. The death of christian faith for me happened at a prayer meeting. The holy people were wailing and crying in ecstasy.  My son & I kept looking at each other.  He asked me why were they acting like this. They were really pouring it on. When I was a teenager I went to a party where they were showing a porno movie. If I closed my eyes this prayer meeting sounded like that! The moaning & 'o god!' cries. I racked my brain trying to find a biblical explanation for my son. I couldn't find one. When the holy rollers were finished they required a recovery period. Just like after great sex. "Could you just feel the holy spirit?", I was asked. "Oh, yea I felt the spirit alright but it wasn't holy." I came to the realization, it was just for show. It was all an act. I was done. I didn't believe anymore. It was fake.  A world wide deception where appearance was everything. I never went back. That was over 2 years ago.

My journey into Paganism began. I felt real freedom in Paganism. The Divine is in me. I don't need to act a certain way, just be myself. My Gods don't need my money or my academy award winning performance about how perfect my life is. I don't need to humble myself before a god and say I am scum with out you. I'm not going to hell. I don't have to adhere to anything that feels wrong to me. I am my best moral compass. I feel sorry for christians. They have to work really hard to maintain the illusion.

By the way my family came back together again at the end of 2007. My husband found a better job, we bought a house together. My daughter is getting married to a wonderful man in the military. My son graduated high school & is preparing for college. My husband & I are very much in love. We are happy & blessed. I don't miss chrisianity at all. Blessed Be!