Since leaving christianity over 2 years ago I have been exploring Paganism. Taking a step back to view my past connection with the divine, I can see that it was from the view point of how inadequate I felt I was. Begging Jesus to changing me into something else. This is not a healthy self image. I work as a nurse with dementia patients. One woman, a devoted catholic all her life, is now so filled with fear & torment due to her ingrained self loathing taught to her by her church. It's very sad to witness because no matter how we encourage her & tell her she is a good person, she will say "I can't accept that." In the dark recesses of her psyche she has retained self condemnation & I believe she is literally in a living hell.
I could have gone in that direction, filled with my own concept of my 'sinfullness'. What a lie. If there is a devil,which I no longer believe in, it is this lie of self abhorrence being force fed to the faithful by the church. Thank the Goddess I've been set free. Jesus said, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.- John 8:31. I have learned the truth & that is that for me christianity is a lie.
Now, I now connect with the Goddess & God who made me just right just. Not sinful, just human. I approve of myself. They love & accept me as I am not only if I conform to a man made ideal. I walk with them in nature. I worship them in the sunshine & in the forest. I am filled with joy. I am filled with love & acceptance of myself. I hope everyone can experience this no matter what path they travel on. Blessed Be!
